Day: December 21, 2008

Marriage & mirage, second wave feminist anniversary edition

Today is the 20th anniversary of my marriage — these commercials were playing in the cultural milieu at the time — I think they have a lot to say about my gen’s place in the feminist world.

We met in 1984.  November 3rd was our first date…

I remember seeing this next one, and it seems to me that the Ink Spots were playing during the pool scene?  I love it for its Surrealism — now that I am seeing it again — and actually one of the images in this is similar to a Dali painting I know…

I think this portrait sort of sums up what marriage is like, at least in our case.

This morning.

The last decade has been the biggest challenge, but last night I thought to myself: I sort of don’t know what I would do without you in my life…

It’s not easy to be married, or to admit that I need him and that I love him.

Both of us have had many relationships in our lives.

We have lasted through many things.

You will never really know the depths of another, but you can like them a lot, and if they make you laugh?

That’s the transcendent thing.

We give each other space.  Spaces.

I asked him, “what is that song?”

and he replied, “I think that’s the Ink Spots”

It was sort of our first song.

I bought the record, but not the perfume.  At that time I wore Paris or Magie Noir.

This year, “Magnifique.”

My grandmother wore Chanel.

Last night I told him, I’m like my mother and grandmother.  We tend to wear lipstick and powder and perfume.  My mother and grandmother are gone now.

I miss their elegance this morning.  My mother didn’t want me to marry — perhaps I married to defy her.  I never really had any thoughts about marriage.  He wanted to.

In case you were curious about the second wave and who it is….

This is it.