Day: August 17, 2008

The wind in my heart and the sea…

This would have been my mother’s birthday today if she were still alive.  Born in 1927.  When she passed away in 2002, I collapsed emotionally.  There had been so many other stressors leading up to it already you cannot believe it.

The man who was like Rumi’s Shams died in a motorcycle crash on April 3rd in the year 2000.  I finally feel that I can begin, again.  If I just envision my life as a question mark?

One thing my mother always said to me was that “change is the only constant in this lifetime.”

She told me that she left my father because she couldn’t stand the sound of his silverware clinking against his plate.  One night she heard that sound and just walked!

I grew up believe believing my stepfather was my real father!      When she saw my stepfather, it was love at first sight.   It didn’t last either, but he was the love of her life!   I miss her so much.   And my daddy.  It’s only later that you begin to understand the complexity of what a Pluto conjunct Saturn in the first house means.

Someplace I read that this transit means “the whole karmic enchilada.”

The kind of loss I have experienced since 2000 has been like an eraser on the chalkboard of my life.  I have Pluto conjunct Venus coming up.

Dharma.  I’m sort of listening to old faves right now…

This song is one I love very much…

My mother and father will always be with me, inside my heart.

This was one of my mother’s favorite lines.  It’s from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam:

“…The moving finger writes; and, having writ,

Moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,

Nor all thy tears wash out a word of it…”