It’s hard to stay on track writing such a difficult subject as Malignant Narcissism — so yesterday I took a break — poetry, music and a bit of beauty!
Hillary Clinton is MAGNIFICENT! That is all I can say after watching her speak last night. And so is Bill Clinton! (But, we all know that) — and that is why we wanted her. She has to be one of the most gracious, strong women I have ever seen.
You see, there will be NO HEALING for many people who are PUMAS — not after what we saw O & Co. pull. And, wasn’t it audacious to see the expectant look on guess who’s face, hanging on every word out of Hillary’s lips, (only thinking about herself) –?
We saw it. We saw it ALL! And, we don’t like you. It’s that simple.
TRUST? is not something you are going to achieve with the American Public! It’s just so all about the house deal with Rezko! And you and Treehouse Foods! Malignancy is all over you!
CLASS is all over Hillary Clinton and John McCain.
And, you haven’t got that!
The last eight years?
McCain looks fine! If we can’t have Hillary. They are seasoned, working politicians. McCain’s wife is over in Georgia right now. Just like a FIRST LADY ought to be.
And McCain? — he’s here in my state taking on the corruption! I love that about him! He is, he will, and he has been for quite some time around Washington. Here’s the story!—
Senator condemns political corruption
He’s going to be like a Teddy Roosevelt!
Teddy was the GREAT REFORMER, and after this election, we all see the NEED FOR THAT! McCAIN will! It makes me laugh to think about it! Senator McCain is NOTHING LIKE PRESIDENT BUSH!
SENATOR McCAIN is a GOOD GUY!
Just like Bill Clinton, and just like Hillary!
Here is a great little article about why so many will go McCain who have been Dems…
“Obama is inexperienced, fluffy and arrogant. I can’t back that.”
Succinct!
Alright, back into the depths of Depth Psychology as we go further into Narcissism, Grandiosity and Malignancy, election 2008!
Confronting narcissism, understanding components of Malignant Narcissism — Depth analysis (part 12)….
August 25, 2008
This is an interesting ad on the part of the McCain camp. The ad addresses how a narcissist acts. I think we were all expecting some kind of gestures to Hillary, and we did not see those. This is because for a narcissist like we are dealing with, Hillary simply doesn’t exist? Watch the ad, and then I have some excerpts from an article written by Sam Vaknin, whose book we looked at a few articles back.
This second ad is showing the “Grandiosity” we are aware of. The narcissist cannot “see” himself logically. Because of his inflated sense of self. This ad mirrors back what Obama looks like to an educated public. It is childlike and cartoonish to most of us.
Before we go back to Vaknin’s work, here is the “ShrinkWrapped” blog on malignant narcissism…
Narcissism, Malignant Narcissism, and Paranoia: Part III
“…One of the outcomes of this kind of family and environmental (emotional) impoverishment is that such children grow up with minimal reserves of self esteem. They don’t feel valued and the need to fend off despair requires them to find ways for the environment (the other) to support their self esteem. Other people become important props who can buttress or threaten their self esteem. (Think again of the “gangsta” who “demands” respect; if he is feared and respected, he is powerful and safe; once the fear is gone, he trembles. We see this at work on a larger scale in Afghanistan, the Ukraine, Iraq, now Lebanon and Syria, perhaps Egypt and Saudi Arabia; once the people are no longer afraid of the tyrants, the system can not long be maintained.) Other people are not related to as independent people (objects or selves, in analytic terms) who have their own desires and emotional lives, but as “need satisfying objects” whose sole purpose is to enhance the self esteem of the damaged one. In mild forms, this can lead to people who literally cannot conceive of another person’s mind working differently from their own. We all know people who insist that “everyone cheats”; since they cheat (and justify their cheating by rationalizing that everyone else does it, too) they cannot believe that you might not cheat, if faced with the opportunity...”
A malignant narcissist needs the “gratifying” experience of the “other” — anyone who doesn’t get that, is useless to the persona’s schema.
So, in that second ad we are watching Narcissism tell us that “a light is going to go off and we will need to vote for Obama.”
You are looking at the Grandiosity in that clip. It isn’t a healthy self’s narcissism.
An example of “healthy” narcissism was shown to us by the campaigns of Hillary Clinton and John McCain. Think of it like a race where athletes are competing. They have spent years training for a race. They have prepared themselves physically and emotionally to compete.
An example of a malignant narcissist?
They would cheat in the race, because they would stop at nothing to achieve their ends. They would be the sort of person to hire thugs to hurt the legs of the other candidates, just so they could eliminate the competition.
In other words, they stop at nothing? Just to bask in the reflected glow of adoration, But really, the followers mean absolutely NOTHING to the narcissist. They are only a means to an end? And, the narcissist is consumed with “winning” except, once having “won” what they are after? It’s on to the next challenge…
Let’s go back to Sam Vaknin again, below…
LOSS OF CONTROL OF GRANDIOSITY
“…The narcissist transforms his life into his single biggest creative act. In other words, the narcissist is an actor (FEGO) whose creation is his own life. He adapts the narrative to fit changing audiences. There is, actually, no discernible, identifiable, single narcissist – but a myriad, mirrored, confabulations.
This constant acting creates – both in the narcissist and in his social milieu – feelings of deceit, falsity, vacillating moods, a multi-layered existence, evasiveness, crookedness, and evil mysteriousness. SNSSs are frustrated by this and often feel threatened by the inability to “capture” and pigeonhole the narcissist.
Life as a work of art (rather than one’s art as part of one’s biography) is an element of the narcissist’s “virtual normalcy” (simulated normal functioning). The narcissist assembles whereas others create, cohabits instead of sharing, establishes and runs “Potemkin” businesses, and indulges in bogus fantasies instead of doing the real thing. He pursues PNSS (publicity) in lieu of professional reputation and standing.
The narcissist does not realise his potentials because he needs to work with others to do so. But he avoids getting involved in order to forestall pain and self-destruction (in the wake of abandonment). The narcissist’s schizoid reclusiveness is an act of self-preservation. One can convincingly argue that the narcissist’s self-destructive streak is better manifested in the way he secures NSSs.
The narcissist assumes that he is so unique that his uniqueness is enough to establish his position as entitled to special treatment – even without actually creating or achieving anything (works of art, fathering children, making a home, building a business, maintaining a relationship)…”
In this case, we would say that he hasn’t achieved any great works around Washington as a Senator yet? We have seen signs of the schiziod as well, in terms of “retreat” back to Chicago and refusal to debate in “Town Halls.”
These Town Halls mean nothing to a Narcissist?
He is only interested in being mirrored.
It is as if he has no running mates? Because they are not self-objects!
Here is a bit on the Schizoid position, off Vaknin, again…
“…Schizoids are often described, even by their nearest and dearest, in terms of automata (”robots”). They are uninterested in social relationships or interactions and have a very limited emotional repertoire. It is not that they do not have emotions, but they express them poorly and intermittently. They appear cold and stunted, flat, and “zombie”-like.
Consequently, these people are loners. They confide only in first-degree relatives, but maintain no close bonds or associations, not even with their immediate family. Naturally, they gravitate into solitary activities and find solace and safety in being constantly alone. Their sexual experiences are sporadic and limited and, finally, they cease altogether.
Schizoids are anhedonic - find nothing pleasurable and attractive - but not necessarily dysphoric (sad or depressed). Some schizoid are asexual and resemble the cerebral narcissist. They pretend to be indifferent to praise, criticism, disagreement, and corrective advice (though, deep inside, they are not). They are creatures of habit, frequently succumbing to rigid, predictable, and narrowly restricted routines.
Intuitively, a connection between SPD and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) seems plausible. After all, narcissists are people who self-sufficiently withdraw from others. They love themselves in lieu of loving others. Lacking empathy, they regard others as mere instruments, objectified “Sources” of Narcissistic Supply…”
(cont.)…. next up, Shadow and Trauma…
Narcissism, grandiosity, wound — Depth analysis (part 11)…
August 25, 2008
So, we had been discussing Domestic Violence, and Joey, an eight year old I saw, as we looked into the beginnings of the “False Self” in Narcissism, as Disorder.
One thing about Joey, right from the start, was that you never knew what was going on inside him because he had the same kind of “flat affect” we just saw in that video. I’m going to give you two stories, about what this looks like.
Joey was very tightly controlled, on the surface. That egg shell we were talking about? Imagine it like armor. Nearly impenetrable.
He wasn’t able to be messy? So, one day after we had been doing some drawings together, and we reached an impasse, he asked me what the game of Pick-Up-Stix was about. We had a lot of different toys in the room to work with.
I showed him how to play, by shaking the can. All the plastic sticks exploded out by mistake, and he was “afraid” because he had made a mistake. I told him it was okay, to make a mistake like that! We picked up the sticks together and put them back in the can. Then we spent the rest of the session trading off shaking the can and making “mistakes” together. He started to laugh! And so did I! That was the only time I ever saw Joey be “free.”
He came to sessions by himself, walking up those steps like a little man. Each time with him, was as if it was brand new. There was not a sense of “joining” in the way you usually join with a client. I wanted the hour to be fairly free for him, so that he could choose how he wanted to play. The way I knew finally that we had joined a little, was when the rainbows appeared in his drawings alongside the skeletons.
He had a “cool” tone to his personality. In other words, you didn’t feel “warmth” from him. It was as if each time he came to session it was a first? Not as if they were building upon each other.
Most agencies like this one function on grants and donations, and the agency went through a shake-up. They decided to close the Counseling part — I had to close with all my cases.
What happened with Joey, is an example of “malignant narcissism.”
We talked for about three weeks in session that it was going to come to an end, soon. Joey repeatedly informed me that he “didn’t need me, anyway.” Having admitted that anything had transpired between us would have been an admission of vulnerability? On his part.
Our second to last session was how he showed me I had meant something to him.
He wanted to fingerpaint. I remember it was red and green poster paint. He was very quiet, and then, without warning he leapt up onto the table. He had a pair of child’s scissors in his hand, aimed at me like a weapon. We were eye to eye.
It’s hard to describe the “fear” that began to constellate inside of me. He yelled something like “I am the Green Monster Mr. Sinister” and then he was out of control, like a wild dervish. He made hand prints all over the walls of the room with red paint. He wouldn’t give me the scissors. I had to physically take them away. He began to start hitting and kicking me. Imagine an eight year old, except it was like “super human” strength?
It all happened so fast, my fear and his escalation. What he needed was containment? So I got behind him and wrapped my arms around his flailing arms, he was kicking my legs so hard it was unbelievable. I just gripped him tighter and began to tell him I knew how angry he was that I was leaving, but that I loved him, and that I always would. Eventually, he settled down somewhat, but the whole time my heart was racing. I had never expereinced anything like that in my life!
One thing he always liked (and insisted upon) was to have me help him wash his hands after working with the paints or pastels. He said, “I’m going to go wash my hands.”
I was totally covered in paint, so were the walls — and he was calm.
He headed for the bathroom sink. I could hear him saying “Ouch, it’s too hot!” like he always did at the end of our sessions. As “the Good Mother” I always adjusted the taps until it was just perfect. He liked me to help him soap his hands.
It was very hard for me to go in there after experiencing the wrath I had seen, but I did. It was the last time I ever “joined” with him in that way. He was entirely calm and in control. He said, “I’ll see you next week.”
Recounting what had happened to my supervisor, she said, “All you need to do is show up next week and be there.”
In other words, I was stronger than his internal wrath, and he hadn’t killed me off.
On our last session, he was calm. He informed me that he didn’t need me, wouldn’t miss me, and that soon he would be seeing somebody else.
I watched his little self march down the steps at the end of the hour. He turned and waved good bye.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You know, this fab writer I know had this video up called Aurora and it is so beautiful I decided to shamelessly steal it! I need to post it, after remembering that experience. Damn. After malignant narcissism?
Something beautiful!
So, my heart is with all the PUMAS who are bravely in DENVER! Right now.
Here is an interesting article for the PUMAS, so they can have a better understanding of narcissism in this election cycle. It’s short and concise. My client Joey? He’d be 20 now.
