Day: August 21, 2011

structures, the sea

I was in the harbor yesterday and a fisherman was bringing in spot prawns.  They were beautiful.

The ocean makes me feel pure, everything about it.

I walked the docks and looked at boats for sale too, because I would really like to live on one.

So I have my fingers crossed right now on my manuscript because I sent it — a really big step for me and also scary but if something good happens then this is where I am going to go — near where life teems and waves crash and the sea rocks you to sleep in her arms all night.

The boat was something he got rid of after the layoff.

The people at the harbor are the finest people I have ever met.

I had my most magic experiences sailing.

So, it’s easy near the sea because there is always seafood and basically you just saute a mess of it in butter and have it with some good bread and a salad — or make some soup with a tomato base and vegetables.

I would like to live on a boat, now.

It was just being back down there and being able to breathe and feel happy out of this atmosphere for a few hours.

The roots of kelp are what you are looking at in this picture.  I walked on the beach yesterday in the golden light of the late afternoon — my favorite light of all.  I can tell the seasons are changing because of the way that the light is more slanted and fall approaches too rapidly for me in August.

I need to fix things about my own life.

Make it happier like it was years ago and be self-reliant again.

Anyway so thinking of the sea, and of structures, and of wonderful people I know and of life and of books and of courage and of being alive and not feeling sad and of going back out to the islands one day on my own boat and under my own steam without arguments on whether the sails need to be reefed, you know?

I was always scared — this I know for sure — on that in the past.  I am very much not the daredevil on the water.

Anyway, it is bliss.  The fisherman’s haul was a load of spotted prawns — giant shrimp he said were like little lobsters — I just felt hungry.  Starving for them, starving for a different life.

Maybe?

Keeps hopes up right now.

I am!