Day: February 15, 2011

Little miracle

Two things I was thinking about yesterday, as I did my own Valentine’s Day.  You know?  I need a permanent Valentine man.  I really do.  My gen kept on trying to find love — real love.  Eros love.  But we got so hurt in the process.  I did anyway.

So, writing the memoir makes you really look at things about yourself, and how you started out.  This is me in childhood — and actually the memoir starts there — at this age.  I found these love letters my father sent my mother — she had them hidden in her dresser with her lingerie and I was very curious and quiet as a child — there were so many family secrets in my family about things.  Writing into these is helping me explore what happened in my own life — as a white girl — so here is the pic:

That’s my little brother, too.  This is from one of those booths where you went in and got a little roll of pictures that came out in a strip of film?

I have a few of those.  So candid, were the photos in that time.  They should revamp those!  It was so fun to pile into one of those with people and make 4-6 expressions, rapidly.

So, another missed chance at a decent Valentine because he has never done Valentines, properly.  It’s not that hard to do something.  It isn’t.

In childhood the expression “every cloud has a silver lining” comes up for me, a lot.  My grandmother and mother used it.  I think it comes from the Irish part of my family.  So, I took this at the bluffs yesterday.  And also the little miracle I saw.

Here are some other moody cloudscapes:

this also happened, same day, same photoshoot:

This is what is meant by the expression “every cloud has a silver lining.”

In other words that, if we look for the beauty we will always find it.

That sustains me as a human being and as an artist — it has for many years.

So, I did my own candy — just before I did the shoot.  I’m taking pictures of the places that my novel unfolds in.  Heart of Clouds can be shot on location here very easily and for very little money.

It’s meant to be a film, because the public responds more to imagery on the silver screen.  The messages in the book have to do with the “silver lining” that is hope and love.

xxoo!

It’s important to take care of the childish parts of yourself.  It really is!

Wanting to get a valentine is part of all that.

I gave a valentine, but I did not get one.

This year has been the worst ever.  I need to be in love and feel love from a man.